The Rolex Fastnet offshore race is a world renowned race. First starting in 1925, it has attracted thousands of sailors to complete its 700 nautical mile course from Cowes to the Fastnet rock south of Ireland before crossing the channel to Cherbourg. As one of the oldest offshore Rolex races, it is a goal for many offshore sailors to compete in the race. Alongside the Fastnet, Rolex have been running offshore races around the world, boasting courses of extreme and dramatic racing and is often the place where boats from all over come to test their mettle against the ocean. For me, the Fastnet was my first major offshore race and would provide the inspiration to dive into the world of offshore.

When starting my offshore sailing journey in 2021, the Fastnet seemed like a large step away from the inshore racing I had been doing over the past year. However, as most of my sailing exploits go, jumping in at the deep end is somewhat of a speciality… This time, I threw myself into my first offshore campaign on another J105, owned by a couple of sailors hoping to make the 2021 season a success. Notified of their lack of crew on a J105 chat, me and a friend Dan, who had also been racing on Jacana with me, decided to jump on board for the RORC Myth of Malham.

I think as all bad decisions go, this one started pretty smoothly. We had light winds heading down the south coast for the first part of the race, drifting towards Plymouth and it was nice sailing and a good chance to get to know the guys on the boat. Overall, it was me, Dan a friend from previous sailing and his non-sailing mate as well as two owners and two others who were hoping to sail on the boat this season. It started pretty well, with a first cooked meal on board we were drifting towards Weymouth. As we sailed into the night, I loved the feeling of spotting navigation lights of the fleet around us, battling for wind and tiny gains under a sky full of stars. Soon the sun was up again and so was the wind, and I had hardly slept a wink due to the excitement of racing!

With the kite up we were now sailing in stronger breeze. With Dan on the helm and me on the main we were flying along and loving it, but as the new watch came on deck they were less happy – they didn’t feel comfortable sailing the boat in these conditions. Fine, I said, we can keep going, it was brilliant sailing and we were almost at the turning mark at Eddystone Lighthouse off Plymouth before heading upwind where the boat would be more manageable. 16 hours later, I was still on deck, fighting the wind and waves upwind as we headed towards Cowes and our finish line. Finally, the wind eased and I could hand over the helm before crashing down below, any fears of not being able to sleep were gone, and I was out in seconds, still head to toe in my kit.

Waking hours later, I realised I had not been woken for my next watch and we had been sailing in a direction very different from the rest of the fleet. Me and Dan headed up on deck to find we had not only sailed away from the other boats, but we had also sailed closer to France than to the UK, which was not the plan. With the second night falling, we would have push the boat upwind on a horrible tack back towards Swanage and hope to rejoin the fleet in an alright position after sailing many miles more into the english channel. Annoyingly, the wind died as we reached the bay, and the last 20 miles took 3 times as long as the previous, but in the end we did finish.

Despite the fact that the results were pretty average, my first offshore had given me everything I had asked for; a challenge, a new experience and some cracking sailing and I was eager to keep on going. Knowing no-one else who was sailing offshore at the time, I signed up to the rest of the season on the J105, hopeful that we could be better by the start of the Fastnet.

After two more RORC Offshore races, it was time to start the Fastnet. Despite being optimistic about getting the boat in shape for the Fastnet, I was still dubious. Spending lots of time at the boat preparing checklists and going through every part of the boat, at the end of the day, my actions were not much help without the owners support. We were all new to offshore, and before hand I had little realisation of the work that went into preparing a boat for a RORC season, and I think all of us were learning on the job, and unfortunately I was unable to do enough to get the boat ready for the race. We started anyway, and with over 40 knots at the start we had a cracking solent exit, even if most of the crew were suffering from extreme pre-race nerves. It was great sailing, and I helmed from the start and out of the Solent, steering over impressive waves past the needles before tacking to Portland.

The boat was taking a beating, that was pretty clear, and it was rough. After 4 hours at the helm I headed below to take a break before my next watch, only to find the boat filled with water. Food and boat parts floating in the cabin, this was not where we wanted to be, water was coming in from everywhere, and the bailers were not working, so it was up to me with a bucket to sort out our water problem. Knowing the weather would calm down, we just had to get through the first 24 hours – easier said than done. While I was downstairs, next thing we know the jib starts ripping from the foil, the owner had replaced the heavy weight jib with an old one before the start and (funnily enough) it hadn’t paid off. Finally, I heard a bang, which was the jib car track ripping out of the deck. This caused more holes in the boat, and with other issues such as electronics becoming more and more problematic, a small crack in the rig and a worryingly loose liferaft, it was time to head home.

I was fustrated, I had concerns about the boat, why did I stay and what could I have done to have avoided retiring just 12 hours into the race? But, I had still learnt a lot, I had gone from new inshore keelboat racer to offshore sailor in just a few races, and with the crew being less experienced it gave me the chance to learn navigation, boat preparation (and what not to do!) as well as team management when everything went tits up.

However it was still a failure. I knew I wanted to do more offshore, but with the next Fastnet two years away, how could I get racing sooner?

The following year, I entered my own boat into JOG Offshore races, and with a successful season, we came 1st in class for the series. With experienced sailors on board, it was both a great confidence boost and a good platform to build skills needed to race offshore. In October, I got the chance to compete in the Rolex Middle Sea. At around 600 nautical miles in the Mediterranean, it was a well known race and was perfect to re-enter another long offshore race like the Fastnet. This time it was going to be different, there was a light wind forecast for the entire race and I would be acting as first mate on a young sailors boat, sailing with others who, like me, came from a dinghy sailing background in Malta, and wanted to head offshore. It was a good experience, I was learning from taking a more senior role onboard, and it was great to sail with people my age with the same passion for sailing and the course was stunning, but with no wind, we had to retire after 7 days due to crew commitments back on shore, and a shortage of water and food if we continued.

For me, this would be failure number two, and I took it worse than the first. I had improved so much since the Fastnet, why was this retirement out of my control and how could I have avoided it? What am I missing that is causing me to not finish these offshore races? Despite loving my sport, it took me a little while to get back into the groove, even embarrassed that it was yet another race I had not finished, but I had to get back into the game, if I gave up now it would be for nothing. I knew I could do it, I just needed the next opportunity.

For me this opportunity was in the form of the RORC Griffin Initiative. Supported by the Royal Ocean Racing Club, we were provided with a boat and an entry for the 2023 Fastnet in the summer. This year felt different, I was with the RORC Griffin Team, a group of friends that I trusted with my life on a boat and I was excited. We had been training together for a year and the Fastnet was fast approaching.

We had control over everything, the funding, our training and how we wanted to run the boat which for me was amazing, I was taking all I had learnt over the past few years and pushing myself into a project. But we had a lot to do, the boat was not in the position to do the Fastnet, it needed work and it was hard to get everyone together to find the time to go sailing while jumping through hoops between RORC and the owner. By the time the Fastnet hit, the boat had not finished a single offshore event, but we had to do it. This Fastnet would be one of the windiest starts in years and in IRC 0, we had big competition. We started and headed out of the needles and got hit head on with the extreme conditions. With over 50 knots and big waves the VHF was going wild, boats sinking, life rafts swept overboard and boats breaking left right and centre. Unfortunately, we would be part of the 45% of boats that would not finish. With electronics failure, broken reef lines, broken winches and a crew of sea sick sailors, we headed in to Portland where we retired early the following morning.

Somehow despite sailing in over 60 knots, I was level headed, we were in and safe.

For me, not finishing the Fastnet in the summer of 2023 was a massive knock on my drive to continue to compete that season, and I felt like I was treading water. This year was meant to be the one, and I had put so much weight onto finishing the race, for me it was a way to prove I could race offshore over the last two years of offshore racing. Looking back I could not have been further from the truth. Every race I have taken part in has given me the confidence and skills to develop in my sport, and over the next two months all my time on the water came together and I finished 2nd in the offshore double handed European championships. Now I just needed to show that I could complete a Rolex race, so I headed out last minute to join Olympias Tigris to compete in the Rolex Middle Sea 2023.

With charter guests on board, Sue the skipper had set everything up ready to go by the time I arrived, and both her and the boat had plenty of miles under her belt in offshore racing. Mum and Dad came to set me off out of Valetta Harbour, and despite the warm weather and the spectacle of the fleet leaving Malta’s grand harbour, I didn’t feel very excited. I told myself I would be happy when we finished, and felt determined to get to the finish line. Luckily for me, this middle sea would have fantastic conditions.

We finished the race in 5 days, with a range of conditions and plenty of champagne sailing. From seeing Stromboli volcano erupt to dolphins glowing in the bioluminescence it was a wonderful place to race. With the conditions, the race favoured the slow boats and we finished with a decent result. When we finished I felt so much relief. Like with any race, it had its issues, but I had removed the doubt surrounding Rolex racing and my ability to race offshore.

I find it easy to overthink failures, and for me, my journey with Rolex races has been the biggest in my offshore sailing so far and has caused me to doubt my own sailing ability sometimes. But the longer I have to look back, I realised that the failures also provided me with some of the best learning points and experiences so far, and like any sport, failing is just part of the journey. Since completing the Middle Sea, I have continued to have a range of adventures in offshore sailing, and I look forward to competing in more Rolex events in the future, but now with an little more spring in my step.